Updated Language of Pregnancy

I calculate I have been pregnant for three years of my life (9x4=36/12=3). My maternal great-grandmother had 11 children, so she was pregnant for eight years and three months of her life (9x11=99/12=8.25). If I were an elephant with an 18-22 month pregnancy, that could be six years to seven years and four months (18x4=72/12=6; 22x4=88/12=7.33). In elephant pregnancy years, my great-grandmother would have been pregnant for 16 years and six months to 20 years and 5ish weeks (18x11=198/12=16.5; 22x11=242/12=20.16).

I am so glad I am not an elephant.

How many elephant years have you, your spouse, or your mother been pregnant?

Definitions of Pregnancy

During those three years of my pregnant life, I developed these definitions:

Pregnancy (1) noun /preagnensee/ nine months a man will never understand.

Pregnancy (2) noun /pregnansea/ nine months of the mother's body suppressing the immune system against a foreign object...the baby.

Morning sickness noun phrase /morneeng siknes/ that feeling in the pit of the mother's stomach, rising to the throat, out the mouth, and twirling in the head.

Ginger noun /jinjr/ the pretend spice that's supposed to ease morning sickness.

Sit-ups noun /situpss/ a dry heave exercise.

Nose noun /knoase/ the heightened sniffer that can tell a toddler's diaper is filthy from a room away or other people are sweaty.

Clear path noun phrase /kleer paeth/ all family members jump away when the preggo lady gags.

Saliva noun /selaive/ oral liquid with a temporarily increased production that helps counteract stomach acid and the nutrient-absorbing baby from rotting teeth.

1st pregnancy husband noun phrase /fearst pregnensea husbend/ held hair when mother retches and gets wife water after.

2nd & 3rd pregnancy husband noun phrase /seakund 'n thurd preagnansee husbend/ gets mother water after retching.

4th pregnancy husband noun phrase /forth pregnensi hesband/ stays where he is at and occasionally brings wife water after retching.

Toilet noun /toylut/ pregnant lady's best friend who she knows all its curves and the right trajectory to vomit in its bowl spill-free.

Chunky, spicy food noun phrase /chunkee spaisea fud/ salsa preggo person's worst enemy.

Bile noun /buyel/ the yellow color gall bladder-free expectant mothers see many mornings in the toilet bowl.

Tired adjective /taird/ a permanent state of being.

Bending verb /beandeeng/ expectant women could do it in the first trimester.

1st pillow noun phrase /fearst peelo/ to support a mother's tired head.

2nd pillow noun phrase /ceakund pilo/ to support the expanding abdomen when lying on one's side.

3rd pillow noun phrase /thrd pilow/ to put between sore legs so hips stay aligned.

4th pillow noun phrase /feaurth peelough/ optional pillow to support the back.

Baby kicks noun phrase /baybee kiks/ the sudden urge to pee.

Group Strep B noun phrase /groop streap bee/ antibiotics pumped into the vascular system until the patient is dead.

Sugar in urine noun phrase /shugr een yerin/ watch out for gestational diabetes.

Epidural noun /eapiderl/ a pain in the back to get just right.

Birth noun (berth) the painful event the mother dreads, but so looks forward to.

Post-partum body noun phrase /post peartem baudee/ bowling balls attached to the chest, tummy pouch, uterus shedding afterbirth, and bendable corpus.

What definitions would you add?

Final definition: gratitude

I have heard some women enjoy having a larger chest, feeling the baby move, or stronger hair and nails from prenatal vitamins. Some sadly just wish they could become or stay pregnant.

Personally, I complained about pregnancy but felt awed that my body was capable of it. My husband mourned when I complained. He would remind me that I enjoyed one aspect of pregnancy: I could feel the baby move. Yes. And my favorite part is feeling the baby move outside of me.

Ultimately, I love the miracle of life guided by the Creator's hand happening inside the womb. One microscopic egg and one microscopic sperm combine into a zygote, which doubles and doubles. At six weeks, the parents can hear the baby's heart beating. Around 12 weeks, the mother may feel fluttering. At sixteen weeks, the mother can feel kicks. A baby can survive outside the womb after 20 weeks. At 24 weeks, the baby responds to sound. Each week after the baby develops more of its senses and organs. And at 37-41 weeks, the baby can come out!

Do you consider pregnancy a miracle, a bother, or both?

Thanks to my sister-in-law who related the idea of engorged breasts feeling like bowling balls many years ago.

This post is a revision and combination of two posts from my personal blog.

The Word Whataboutism Caught My Eye

by Eileen Davis

This weekend I read many social media posts about “whataboutism.” The term caught my eye because it seemed so interesting. And it seemed an insult. I figured it meant people asking “what about that?” but I didn’t have much clue.

So here is what Merriam-Webster dictionary says about whataboutism:

Whataboutism gives a clue to its meaning in its name. It is not merely the changing of a subject (“What about the economy?”) to deflect away from an earlier subject as a political strategy; it’s essentially a reversal of accusation, arguing that an opponent is guilty of an offense just as egregious or worse than what the original party was accused of doing, however unconnected the offenses may be.

Upon first reading another explanation, I concluded this was a red herring in logic — or distracting one’s opponent from the issue at hand. But it’s a “you too” or tu qouque logical fallacy. The opponent says that you are guilty of the same crime instead of validating whether the first claim is true or not.

This circular logic is dizzying and confusing.

Now the term makes sense to me in the context of US politics. Some are accusing Antifa and Black Lives Matters protestors of similar conduct as the Stop the Steal protestors. Essentially, people are pointing their fingers at each other.

In my humble opinion, protests turn too easily to riots because bad actors generally appear at some point. Personally, I deliberate for hours until I post my opinion on social media.

Finally, I have P!NK’s song “What About Us?” stuck in my head.

Looking at the cartoon, what do you notice about the figures’ ears, mouths, and heads? What’s over their ears? Are they able to listen to one another?

The Change of Generic Man to Gender-Specific Man

I wrote about this topic previously but added more content here.

Representative Emanuel Cleaver II opened the 117th Congress session with a controversial end to his prayer: “amen and a woman.” Cleaver meant it as a pun to illustrate the current high number of female members of Congress. His intent seems good, though his timing may seem sacrilegious and inappropriate to some.

Others on social media aired their grievances about Cleaver’s pun. For example, conservative commentator Ben Shapiro tweeted:

“Amen” is a Biblical Hebrew word: אמן. It is a word simply meaning “may it be so.” It has nothing to do with the word “man” or “woman” because it is FROM HEBREW. This is some of the dumbest s*** I have ever seen in my life.

This incident illustrates the tension surrounding words and gender politics. Even if intent may be honorable on both sides of an issue, a war of words may still ensue over the definition narrowing and/or broadening of gendered terms.

What do you think about Cleaver's pun on amen?

The Faux Pas

I experienced similar tension during a college class over the Star Trek introduction. In the first few months of my marriage to a Trekkie, my husband and I watched the original Star Trek where I heard “To boldly go where no man has gone before” with every introduction.

During my Modern American Usage class the next semester, the professor asked for examples of sexist or inclusive language.

“Where no man has gone before,” I said.

Suddenly two or three people in the class objected: “No, it’s ‘where no one has gone before.’”

I cowered, but I knew I was right!

Well, I hadn’t watched Star Trek: Next Generation yet where the creators had changed the introduction to inclusive language. However, my example with theirs showed the evolution of inclusive language from the 60s to the 80s.

Has anyone ever called you out for sexist language? Have you ever called someone out for sexist language? How did the exchange go?

Generic Man

Over thousands of years, our language has narrowed generic human nouns and pronouns into gender-specific nouns and pronouns (or vice versa). Old English used wer to indicate an adult male, but speakers replaced wer with man. The meaning of man meant male or female until AD 1000. But man retained the sense of people for longer. The last original Star Trek introduction (6/23/1969) and Neil Armstrong’s declaration on the moon “One small step for man; one giant leap for mankind” (7/20/1969) illustrate this sense of people until 1969.

Other terms that use man for the sense people include mankind, manslaughter, manhandle, etc. Mankind has declined in usage over the past 200 years. Humankind seems to have replaced mankind in some instances since 1960. Using Google Books Ngram, mankind usage decreased in 1978 as humankind usage increased. Mankind has a slight dip — mostly in the 90s — but it returns to the same percentage in 2019. Interestingly enough, mankind increased in the new Millennium. Humankind doesn’t seem to have replaced mankind as of yet, and the term may never do so.

Screenshot of Ngram

Can you think of other terms with "man" that still retain the sense of people?

The Desire for Gender Neutral Terms Returns

Ironically, as gender-specific terms narrowed, some have a desire for gender-neutral terms again. This desire stems from various legal, diversity, and transgender movements. First, gender-neutral language often simplifies legal language. Second, some desire gender-neutral terms to reflect the gender spectrum. For these dual purposes, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has proposed to change gender-specific terms to gender-neutral terms in the Congress ethic rules. This proposal has again sparked controversy among politicians.

The issue of gender-neutral versus gender-specific terms encounters controversy because of potential discrimination based on sex, religion, or political persuasion.

How do you feel about the changes in the House Ethic Rules?

Look at a Person’s Intentions

The changes in meaning and terms have been an underlying issue in the culture wars for several decades. This tension will most likely continue. But as it continues, we need to look at people’s intentions behind their words. Like Cleaver and Shapiro, most of us have honorable intentions. Thus, we can draw on our honorable intentions, instead of our desires to be right or not offended, to reach compromises or to kindly disagree. Albeit not everyone will do this, but you and I can choose to do this.

How can we approach each other with a "heart at peace" when addressing conflicts over language usage?

The Grammatical Structure of “Writing About Writing” Makes Sense, But Not Others

“Writing about writing” uses the same word as two different word classifications: progressive verb+"about"+gerund.

Some things don't make sense; Photo by Author

As a child, many of my favorite books included main characters who wanted to become writers. In Louisa May Alcott’s Little Women, Jo March’s desire to write a great novel inspired my idea to write a great novel. From the L.M. Montgomery’s Anne of Green Gables series, I mourned when Gilbert made fun of Anne Shirley, especially when he called her writing “highfalutin mumbo jumbo.”

Writers Alcott and Montgomery wrote about characters who wrote. This cycle feels familiar even today. Now there is an entire industry of writers writing about writing. Some make thousands of dollars from writers and wannabee writers purchasing these items. Even I fall into the trap of writing about writing. I enjoy helping others improve their writing and other language skills, though I haven’t made any money with writing advice yet.

These thoughts on “writing about writing” intrigued me on a grammatical level. The syntax (word order) is a verb+preposition+noun, where the first verb is in the progressive tense and the noun is a gerund (the progressive verb form used as a noun). I experimented with other verbs: reading about reading, dreaming about dreaming, or hearing about hearing. These constructions made sense while others did not: walking about walking, tasting about tasting, or climbing about climbing.

So what makes some verbs work, but not others?

I wondered about abstract verbs versus concrete verbs, but that didn’t quite make sense. For example, the abstract idea of “thinking about thinking” works yet the concrete idea of “typing about typing” works too. What makes sense comes down to word definitions and context. Otherwise, these are grammatically correct, but nonsense phrases.

In the end, words are more than letters, sounds, and word classes. They are the meaning generations of humans have imbued into these sounds. Each word has an idea associated with it. Thus, I am writing about writing.

So what progressive verbs can you think of that work as gerunds that don’t sound nonsensical?

Masks, School, and Speech Delays Update

Photo and Masks by Author

I wondered before school started how masks would delay my son’s speech, which I wrote about previously. After the third week of preschool, clear masks arrived in the mail and I sent his teacher one. Also, I sent my son with a clear mask to school. The masks tend to fog inside the plastic portion and they are harder to breathe through. Hence the fog negates part of the purpose. While subbing as an aide, I only saw one teacher put on a clear mask while she taught students about dental hygiene. After the mini-lesson, she switched to a normal mask.

From working in schools, more teachers are wearing a face shield instead of the clear masks when they need to communicate with speech-delayed children. The face shields are even more than what is required in this situation according to Governor Herbert’s mandate. Face shields are a compromise between no mask and masks. So far, I have seen teachers wearing a face shield during special education services. As I subbed for my third son's special ed class, the students and teachers and aides could use face shields for that room.

My youngest son’s speech has improved some since beginning preschool. He is saying three of four more words. He has doubled his word count! His /t/ no longer sounds like a /d/. Also, I recognize more intonations to phrases. I am so pleased with these small yet large improvements. Currently, the speech therapist wants us to work on turn-taking activities to mimic conversation.

Working as a substitute teacher or teacher aide, I have observed how different schools have implemented the mask mandate. In most schools, the students and teachers wear their masks normally. The children still have their masks fall below their noses often and need reminders. Some masks are just too big to stay on their noses long. In this case, some parents have twisted the elastic twice over to make it tighter. I tie a knot in earloops on my oldest son’s masks. The clear masks for my toddler came with little sliding adjustments, which work well as long as they don’t slide completely off. My youngest son has already lost one slider.

One school I subbed at required masks on for more activities than outlined in the Utah school mask mandate. This school made no exception for PE, special education, and for speech-delayed children. During PE, the children dropped their masks more frequently while jumping and they had difficulty breathing. I had greater trouble understanding the children with speech difficulties in the special education classroom. And they had trouble understanding me. We said “what?” a lot. Sometimes we gave up on communication entirely. For children with special needs, this increased their frustration and meltdowns.

Thus, the exceptions are there for a reason.

Students and staff can remove their masks during recess and while eating. Having a small break during the day has helped my anxious teenager through the process. I am glad that we don’t have to wear masks while eating. I don’t know if it would be possible to eat with a mask on, but it might be interesting and messy to try.

While wearing a mask, my throat hurts at the end of the day. Kudos to teachers and other staff who do this every day! I used a cough drop to soothe my throat tonight. While I had a sinus infection and sore throat the last weekend of September, I drank warm water with honey and lemon juice. It soothed my throat, so I may need to try that for “mask throat.”

For all the challenges, Utah teachers and students have done well. They have demonstrated great resiliency during this pandemic. Right now, everyone is working as best they can to keep schools open. Life will return to normal.

My Son's Speech Therapy and School Mask Conundrum

Photo by Author

Originally written on August 20, 2020

As an infant and toddler, my youngest son had frequent ear infections. The infections were indicative of fluid retention in his middle ear. The fluid prevented his ear drums from vibrating properly, thus causing conductive hearing loss. The doctor placed ear tubes in his ear two years ago so his middle ear can drain since his Eustachian tubes weren’t draining properly.

My son’s expressive language is stuck in the babbling and one-word stage, which is the spoken language level of a one-year-old. He says a few words like tickle, no, ma, and da. Mostly, he babbles. Occasionally, his intonation sounds like a word or phrase. Overall, we have to repeat sounds many times before he imitates them. He responds better when he imitates his brothers or the sound is linked with an action.

His receptive language is much higher. He can point to objects or follow one-step commands. For example, when I say “Where’s the ball?” with a book, he will point to it. And he will throw trash away if I ask him too as a one-step command.

Because my son is stuck in the one-word/babbling stage, seeing is important to his language development.

What role does sight play in learning language?

From the moment children are born, they are imitating our facial expressions. Psychologists believe this imitation derives from our “mirror neurons.” One such imitation and expression is when an infant smiles around eight weeks old. They also imitate the manner of articulation from what they see and hear parents say. The imitations carry through an infant’s cooing and babbling stages. Babies will take turns in conversation of smiles, coos, gestures, babbling, and other actions. For example, if you stick your tongue out, a baby will copy that, but usually at a slower pace.

The School Mask Mandate

Ever since Utah Governor Gary Herbert ordered that all students wear masks (or face shields), I have wondered how this would affect my toddler with a significant speech delay who will be attending special ed preschool. He would probably be covered under the disability category, but I didn’t know. I figured I could do a face shield for my son and the teacher would be wearing only a face shield. I discussed this with the preschool speech therapist when she visited for extended school year visits. She hoped that it would only be face shields.

On August 14, Gov. Herbert ordered that teachers must wear a mask with the face shield. All students must wear a mask, unless they have a doctor sign a medical exemption form. Section (3)(e) of the mandate states a communication exemption:

an individual engaged in an activity where the ability to see the mouth is
essential for communication, including an individual who is deaf or hard of
hearing while communicating with others, an individual who is
communicating with an individual who is deaf or hard of hearing, or a
teachers-student dyad participating in speech therapy, in which case the
individual shall wear a face shield without a mask or use alternative
protection, including a plexiglass or similar barrier;

I tried to get some clarification from my son’s previous preschool teacher during our extended school year conversations about this. She stated that students and teachers must wear masks from the last update. She didn’t seem to know anything about the exceptions for speech therapy. It seems there is a lack of communication about the exceptions.

Overall, I am very confused; some teachers are confused too. Because the rules change frequently, parents and teachers are both scrambling to figure this out. Preschool starts next week, so the kinks are yet to be determined.

Last week, I made five masks for each of my four sons to last a school week. I included my toddler because I don’t know exactly what is going on.

Amid the confusion, my older children have adjusted to school with masks. Maybe my youngest will adjust well too.

On Monday, I read an article about masks with a clear portion over the mouth. BYU deaf students were considering this alternative for themselves and their interpreters. Some read lips and also want to see the facial cues in ASL.

I am considering these clear masks for my son. I asked his new preschool teacher if she would wear one. She said she’d try it out. I will be purchasing one for her most likely. This will all cost more money, but I don’t know what to do. My son needs to see the teacher’s mouth in order to imitate speech sounds better. I believe he could copy some sounds, but not as accurately.

What can I learn from blind babies’ language development?

While writing this post, I realized that sight is not absolutely critical to learning language. For example, blind babies learn how to talk. I wondered how they learn to communicate. I found some answers on Family Connect. A blind baby learns more through touch and sound. An adult can put their babies hands on their lips or hands.

So masks will not stop my son from learning to talk, but it may make the process longer.

However, children are very resilient. Their plastic neurons forge new connections to adapt to the different learning circumstances.

This school year may be different, but children will still learn.

Writing Process for Poem My Moonbeam Spills on Your Face

As a teenager, I often gazed at the moon and stars through my bedroom window. God’s creations bore witness of his love for me. I contemplated how I could personify this message in poetry.

I wrote my first draft entitled “I spill a moonbeam” during my high school freshman or sophomore year. The words came as a song. Whenever I shared this poem, I sang it. I sang this poem to a friend during a sleepover. She complimented my singing voice, which I had never considered as beautiful, just off-key.

My first draft reads thus:

I spill a moonbeam
Across your face
While you do dream
Of a heavn’ly place.

I stream in sunshine
Through your window,
And yet you whine
Of my sun’s glow.

I whisper to you,
“I love you so!
I really do.”
Yet you don’t know.

I weep from above.
I groan within:
“Remember my love!
Let yourself grin.”

Again my moonbeam
Shines on your face
While you do dream
Of a heavn’ly place.

I showed this poem to another friend. She noted that the “do” felt repetitive. She wondered why people added “did” and “do” to poetry. I figured the “do” belonged in the first stanza because it kept the rhythm. I didn’t remove it.

A few years ago, I compiled a nature booklet that I hoped to sell on Amazon. I asked a retired English teacher from my hometown to look it over. She suggested removing the “do.” Here are her suggestions:

Screenshot by Author

I finally gave up the “do” for the next beta reader. Here are her suggestions:

Screenshot by Author

This revision still lacked the poignancy I wanted, so my mind percolated on how to improve the poem for the last few years. Last month, I finally wrote a revision late at night.

Here was my revision process:

Photo by Author

Photo by Author

Without further ado, here is the final revision of my poem:

My moonbeam shines on your face
While dreams vanish without trace

My sunbeam streams through your window
You toss, turn, and hide under a pillow

My breeze stirs your hair
While you kneel in prayer

My raindrops fall on your head
My tears, your fears soon shed

My moonbeam shines on your face
Day to day, you grow grace to grace